Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
