im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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