it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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