drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
