Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
