Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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