I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
