I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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