wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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