I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
