We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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