The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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