you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
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