I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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