it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My penis needs a shock collar
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
