you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize