No stitches, just platelets and will power
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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