i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
