i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
