Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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