I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
