just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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