You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
