How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
