Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
