thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
