Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
