You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
they need to just BURY HIM!
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
