I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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