This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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