Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
