Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
