Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
