I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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