wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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