Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
