i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
