We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
