i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
