that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
