Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
