He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
