I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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