hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
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this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
How does one acquire holy water?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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