its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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