the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i wish my penis had a tongue
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
