4 words: hood of his car
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
