By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
