I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
