Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
