Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
