we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
