apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize