Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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