when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
