Where did you get a picture of my penis
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
