Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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