I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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