I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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