Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
