I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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