two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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