new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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