Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
