Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games

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  (415): I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games http://tfl.nu/i5dy
  Replies (8) Good night (649) Bad night (1202)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...

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  (339): so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning... http://tfl.nu/swvs
  Replies (40) Good night (662) Bad night (2685)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat

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  (978): Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat http://tfl.nu/7lwm
  Replies (18) Good night (4482) Bad night (904)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.

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  (360): And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that. http://tfl.nu/r3iu
  Replies (6) Good night (2839) Bad night (984)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.

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  (505): They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties. http://tfl.nu/hv8c
  Replies (6) Good night (3061) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college

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  (650): Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college http://tfl.nu/e5ta
  Replies (1) Good night (1482) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.

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  (570): I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem. http://tfl.nu/6woq
  Replies (3) Good night (2878) Bad night (914)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.

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  (815): Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience. http://tfl.nu/8crb
  Replies (8) Good night (2127) Bad night (701)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable

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  (319): Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable http://tfl.nu/cclu
  Replies (15) Good night (669) Bad night (4412)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!

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  (617): I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed! http://tfl.nu/vwkc
  Replies (6) Good night (1787) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.

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  (916): I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly. http://tfl.nu/j9zm
  Replies (2) Good night (1129) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost

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  (613): but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost http://tfl.nu/7k22
  Replies (2) Good night (529) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  Fair enough.

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  (860): If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face. (1-860): Fair enough. http://tfl.nu/elro
  Replies (0) Good night (779) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.

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  (716): I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea. http://tfl.nu/jnx6
  Replies (2) Good night (679) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs

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  (516): fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs http://tfl.nu/oioa
  Replies (0) Good night (932) Bad night (284)

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