Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  So drunk i had to piss sitting down...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): So drunk i had to piss sitting down... http://tfl.nu/050t
  Replies (7) Good night (1092) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Um, that's called prostitution

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Um, that's called prostitution (773): Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money http://tfl.nu/jjue
  Replies (4) Good night (2797) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why? (410): i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks. http://tfl.nu/uckj
  Replies (63) Good night (772) Bad night (8945)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size" http://tfl.nu/ckqj
  Replies (35) Good night (1418) Bad night (7820)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town http://tfl.nu/mvuo
  Replies (39) Good night (6832) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get http://tfl.nu/ews4
  Replies (64) Good night (5167) Bad night (1644)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk." http://tfl.nu/3sim
  Replies (10) Good night (3351) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep http://tfl.nu/07gg
  Replies (6) Good night (2054) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering. http://tfl.nu/0c1c
  Replies (6) Good night (942) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA http://tfl.nu/dpqi
  Replies (5) Good night (434) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know. http://tfl.nu/l46m
  Replies (3) Good night (1082) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted. http://tfl.nu/x7uk
  Replies (3) Good night (414) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it. http://tfl.nu/r2m1
  Replies (3) Good night (329) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic. http://tfl.nu/5vs6
  Replies (0) Good night (456) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave. http://tfl.nu/cws2
  Replies (2) Good night (561) Bad night (302)

Randomize