I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
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his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
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It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green