i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?