Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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