True but thats because hes a fetus.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????