If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
