Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
