I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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