Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
