We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I wish life had little blips of pornography
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just invented taco cereal.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
