i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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